Romance Uncensored Part 2


I was super tempted to write something real eye catching for my Post Title today, like something, dare I say "naughty"? So that everyone would click on my blog link and read what God has to say about living out a Red Hot Marriage.
But I clearly chickened out and it's just us.

So let's get started ok?
On Monday I wrote about our awesome God filled weekend with our church's marriage retreat that was held in Branson, MO.
{I'm pasting the link, but apparently my laptop hasn't had enough coffee yet so you will have to paste the link into your own browser- sorry.}

Most of these are just notes that I jotted down while our pastor was talking and not everything is verbatim. 

He talked about the importance of having sex with your spouse.
Keep in mind this was a MARRIAGE retreat. Not a I-live-with-my-boyfriend-girlfriend-retreat.
So even though saying SEX on my blog makes me a little "whoa", I'm trying to be a big girl and remember that God created Sex. {See, I said it again!}
And because it's of God, it's wonderful.
In fact they came up with one of those annomalies or accronyms (somebody correct me, I'm too lazy to google)
It goes like this:
Supernatural- God
Enjoyment- Having oneness with your spouse and therefore God.
X not X-rated, it's God created.

{I'm feeling better already! }

Other important factors are:
Reading the Bible together.
Praying together.
Talking together.

Noticing a trend yet?

When you invest in your marriage and your spouse you are creating the ticket for others to see God thru your marriage and therefore a way to the gospel.
Your friends are watching.
Your family is watching.
And you can bet your kids are watching.
How many of us act and talk and respond the way our parents did?
See what I mean?

It says in the Bible that there are only two times a man and woman should separate intimately.
When they are fasting, or when they are in times of prayer.
Don't deny each other the satisfaction or being together, even if you don't want to.
When you tell your spouse no/I have a headache/I don't feel like it/the dog just barfed/hit me up in the morning, it wounds their spirit.
And pretty soon all those no's turn into urges of self satisfaction or into the arms of another person.
It happens, we see it everywhere.

How do you make sure this doesn't happen?
Decide NOT to slide.
Keep reading God's word e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y.
Live by passionate convictions.
If you are intimate with God, you will be intimate with your spouse.

The pastor also talked about things Men and Women should do.

For the Men:
1. Pastor your home. He said this possibly more than anything else.
Lead and guide your wife and children. Pray with them, read God's word with them. Let them know they are safe and protected under your guiding hands and decisions.
Something like 80% of children will continue to go to church and live God fearing lives if they see both parents going to church. But if you take out the father, there is only a 20% chance.
2. Prioritize Christ in everything you do.
3. Date your mate. Treat your wife with value and let her know how much you appreciate her.
Criticizing or talking down to her will leave lasting impressions. 8 positives do not cover up 2 negatives. She still remembers 10 years ago when you told her she looks fat in those jeans. (Ouch!)
4.Keep God center.
5. Dare each other to try new stuff. Spice up date night, join a book club, take a cooking class, rent scooters and cruise around town, take a picnic to the lake, etc. And remember, a fun date night doesn't have to be expensive.

For the Women:
1. Create a welcome home environment for your hubby. Let him know that you appreciate all he does to support the family.
2.Remember your role. You are a help meet. And keep in mind, it's easier to be the helper than it is the leader.
3.Respond to your hubby in a loving supportive way. Be his cheerleader, he needs that from you!
4.Respect him. Period.
5. Wives, submit to your husbands. Even if you don't feel like it. Even if you think his idea is whack, go along with it.

Long, long ago, when we were all wee littles, our mothers/teachers told us to treat others like we would want to be treated.
Are you doing that for your spouse?

Now this part is for parents.
Our pastor was mentioning that kids = sex killer.
They will cause serious barriers.
Don't let them sleep with you, they have their own bed!
Put your kids to bed when YOU are ready. Not them.
And tell your teenagers that if they aren't in bed by 9pm, they are going to see some FUNKY STUFF!
{ The conference room erupted in laughter when he said this. I'm still laughing!]

There was also a guest couple there named Ed and Lisa Young from Florida,who have written a book called Sexperiment. It's about connecting and uniting with your spouse for 7 days straight. 
[Google that too, my links are acting up.]

So we've covered a LOT of bases here.
I'm still marinating everything that was said during this conference and can't wait for next year.
Oh yes, we've already signed up! King size bed with a lakeside view:)[That's hotel wordage FYI.]

If you want to check out Brand New Church, here is the link. Again, copy and paste. 
You can watch past messages and tune in live every Sunday to hear Pastor Shannon Odell bring the word.

Have any feedback?
What did you think of Romance Uncensored?
Is your church doing anything like this?


  1. whoa.
    this is so so so good girlfriend.
    you did an excellent job here.
    sounds like a very wonderful retreat!

    now i'm gonna go rent some scooters...;)
    but seriously...what is date night?
    because we never do that...:/
    gotta work on it!
    love ya!!!

  2. You literally had me giggling at some of the stuff you said!! :] So awesome! And I need to be reminded of that stuff...quite frequently. My parents have be head of the "Marriage Retreat Committee" at my home church for the past 15 or so years (it was actually their idea to start doing one every year). This past March, they had one in Branson, and it just happened that my husband and I were moving from Oklahoma to St. Louis. So we stopped and spent the weekend at the retreat (it was our first time to participate...I had been waiting for this time, since I was little). It blessed my socks off, no joke! I think it is SO important to go on a retreat (even if it's just the two of you and no planned event) and have some couple time. To reconnect and rejuvenate. Your heart is in the right place, girl!! Good for you...writing outside your comfort zone. :] Loved it!!

  3. This is all so so so true!

    Love hearing different suggestions!

    And TOTALLY AGREE, that watching how your parents interacted is a strong factor in how you act. We are trying to change that cycle now. My parents were divorced when I was in high school, and sort of 'existed together' for me and my sister. But it's so important for Easton to see me and Lance interact, hug, kiss, talk, etc.

    Such good stuff girl! Thanks for sharing!


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